Today at work, there was, yet again, joking about how the woman is "the boss" and if a man is smart he'll agree with anything she said; after all... "happy wife, happy life." Many of you reading this will be familiar with such joking. Oh if I had more time to say something - but I had work to do. I dislike debate at the best of times anyhow. This did get me to thinking though, which wasn't exactly copacetic for working. As deep a thinker as I tend to be, it was absolute torture that my mind was going on overdrive while trying to focus on my work. The fact that I desperately wanted to side with the one man who was brave enough to disagree added to my torture. I tried. I really did. I was quickly and silently rebuffed as a traitor to my sex. Oh well. Since then I have been playing and replaying my thoughts on this idea, visualising what I would say and how I would say it if given the chance... I know that if that chance were to come I would botch it horribly. However, I feel I must get it out... or my head might just explode. Here then, are my inner reflections. Please feel free to add your two cents.
I was raised to be a submissive wife. Not so much in the DD sense but in the biblical sense. There were many occasions where, as a teenager, I would sit in Daddy's forge / shop, while he worked, and we would talk about life; more specifically we would talk about scripture and how it related to the present. Among other things, he was very careful to teach me what it meant to be a Christian wife and also what it meant to be a Christian husband. My understanding of these roles makes it very easy for me to except mine because I seem to have gotten the better deal, all things considered.
In taking stock, I understand that I am accountable to God for myself, I must submit to my husband as unto the Lord and I must respect my husband. Oh yes, and I must be modest, genteel, of a quiet spirit etc. On the other hand, I find the role of a man to be very overwhelming. If my interpretation is correct, the man is accountable to God not only for himself but for his wife and children. He is responsible for her spiritual well being, protection and over all provision. He must love her as Christ loves the church, sacrificing his life for hers. He must nourish her with the washing of the Word, in order to present her unto himself as a perfect bride without spot or wrinkle. The final decision is always his as is the responsibility for said decision when it backfires. As such if he agrees to my suggestion and things go haywire, while the problem effects me, it's his problem to fix. While it may no longer be true in a worldly sense, bucolically he can, upon first hearing of a vow I made, nullify my vow made to another. If I am under spiritual attack, he can as a Christian, but especially as my husband, take authority over that and stop the attack. He is responsible for the teaching upbringing and discipline of our children. In all these things, he is expected to utilise wisdom, kindness and grace. Eve was at fault for eating the forbidden fruit. Adam was at fault not only for eating the forbidden fruit but for putting the desires of his wife ahead of the will of God. As he was present when Eve ate the fruit, was he also at fault for not stopping her?
The role my husband has seems very overwhelming to me. When the suggestion arises that I should take the lead I kind of do the whole "deer in the headlights" thing. I do not possess the desire or the ability to take on his role in it's entirety. My husband, however, is perfectly comfortable with the apparent magnitude of his role. Easy peezy. That said, I am content as the co-pilot; I can fly this jumbo jet if I have to but have no desire to do so long term. This is his jumbo jet; he can fly it. To put it another way... all complaints aside, my husband rules our little family with wisdom and grace; even though I outweigh him by about sixty pounds, I am quite happy to be his little woman.
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